Autumn…. its joys and sorrows

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Wow – it’s been quite a few weeks since I’ve sat here in front of my laptop to write and although I’ve only been blogging for a short time, I’ve missed it! What’s happened to keep me away? Just life, really. A daughter’s birthday, mine, a day in London with a favourite friend getting Christmassy, my sister’s 50th (finally!), working with the fabulous charity I’m a trustee of, learning more Italian, starting a small but very nice new job……..

I have also been thinking about autumn. I love it and yet it makes me sad. I love the colours, the amazing sunsets, being able to put away the summer clothes and cover up more, wear boots, light candles, smother myself in rich moisturiser, cosy up and read, make soups and start Christmas lists, always forgetting that actually I find Christmas really quite exhausting! I’m not entirely sure why I find autumn sad. My birthday, I suppose, reminding me that another year has gone and there’s still so much I want to do, and see and be. The shorter days, more darkness, less light. Edging towards the end of a year where maybe I haven’t achieved some/many of the things I’d hoped to at the start…..

However, my current thinking is that gloomy thoughts are just that. Gloomy thoughts. And a waste of time. Trying, if we can, to put them aside and to focus on the good stuff is surely a more valuable use of life. Did you know that many perimenopausal and menopausal women are prescribed anti-depressants, when low mood and general feelings of being overwhelmed and sad can instead be symptoms of hormonal imbalance? Obviously there are many whose lives are difficult and very painful and who have real issues to overcome, but for the rest of us lifestyle changes can greatly help this imbalance and make us feel happier.

So, I’m still trying to sleep and eat better, and to move, walk and swim more. Breathing, properly, like a yoga teacher would want me to. Dog walking without listening to a podcast (love them all but they are distracting) but listening and watching and noticing everything as I walk. Really focusing on listening to and appreciating my family and friends – we never know how long we have them with us!

I will make soup. Lots of it. I’ve already made a batch of Marcus Wareing’s Spiced Cauliflower and Coconut Soup which is yummy. And now for a batch of Liz Earle’s Roasted Pumpkin Soup. This was a request from my youngest daughter and I’ve finally got around to it. She’s just moved into her first house share in London because of her new job so sadly she won’t be here to eat it – oops. But lucky me!

And I’ll read. What better way to escape from the dark and damp and cold? To lose yourself in a book about moving to Montalcino in Italy (Vanilla Beans & Brodo by Isabella Dusi, yes please!), or a story about a young woman answering a job advert to be a Lady War Correspondent in 1940 (Dear Mrs Bird by AJ Pearce), or one about a marriage – the compromises, dedication, promises and secrets (The Wife by Meg Wolitzer). Or crime in brilliantly, wonderfully evoked Tudor England (CJ Sansom’s Shardlake books). I gave myself a challenge last New Year’s Eve – to read 35 novels before 31st December 2018. I have 11 books still to read! And I AM going to do it!

I want to start reviewing, briefly, the books I read. Standalone reviews which I’ll put up on here separately. For now however, I’ll just say my favourite so far this year is Claire Fuller’s Bitter Orange. I LOVED it! I couldn’t put it down. I longed for bedtime so I could really get stuck in. It’s a very beautiful book to own and it has everything. Fabulous writing, great atmosphere, interesting characters and a fantastic plot. I was lucky enough to meet Claire twice this year. Once on the day the book was published and, even more fun, when she came to our book club lunch (as she lives in Winchester and the inspiration for the setting of the book was a neo-classical country house on an estate here in Hampshire). It was brilliant being able to ask Claire questions about the book and we did! Why did she write it, how does she write, what inspires her, who are her characters based on, and so on. She is so lovely and interesting and should be very proud of this, her third novel.

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Things to be grateful for:

A blender, for soup making.

Birthdays. We’re all so lucky to have them.

A good night’s sleep, I’m told.

A great book – better than many things!

Inside Information – our guts and kefir….

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So many of us have digestive issues, apparently at least 1 in 3 of us, which makes gut health a fascinating subject as well as being an important one. Really important.  Hippocrates said that “all disease begins in the gut” and nowadays, with life being lived at great speed, with less sleep than ever before, both leading to chronic stress, and with a modern western diet, we need to find a way to deal with the health of our guts to avoid problems now, and in the future.

The gut, its health or otherwise, controls so many things in our make up, and is referred to as our second brain. We have up to 2kgs of microbes inside us, including both good and bad bacteria, known as our microbiome. Our microbiome affects our immune system, our mental health, the balance of our hormones, our likelihood of ageing well or badly, getting arthritis, and so on. The microbiome obviously is crucial, too, in breaking food down, absorbing nutrients, making vitamins etc. It does this well when in tip top condition and badly when not. Therefore, maintaining balance in the gut where the bad bacteria is being wonderfully dominated by the good, is vital to help create, or restore us to, good health.

What causes things to go wrong in the gut:

Stress, bad sleep patterns, antibiotics, lack of exercise, processed foods, lack of fibre, too much sugar, alcohol, and even coffee.

What keeps a gut healthy:

Reducing stress (maybe by practising yoga, deep breathing or meditation), getting 7/8 hours of good quality sleep (see Matthew Walker’s best selling book where he says we are all under-slept), regular exercise, eating a diet rich with a huge variety of plants, legumes, nuts and seeds and olive oil and if eating meat or fish making sure they are of the best quality you can afford. Reducing sugar (fresh fruit is good, cakes, sweets and white carbs aren’t really), and alcohol and even coffee, particularly if it affects your sleep. Including prebiotics in your diet ie leeks, onions, garlic, artichokes etc and increasing your probiotics, found in fermented foods, which can hugely contribute to the healthy bacteria in our gut. And drink bone broth. So, so good!

What will the result be? Lowered cortisol levels and less stress, better hormonal balance, clearer skin, stronger hair and nails, better sleep, more energy, less inflammation, less risk of disease and so on……

So, one of the best things to have to fill us up with good bacteria is KEFIR! I have been making my own for over a year now as I mentioned in an earlier post. It is so much cheaper to make your own and so simple, and you’ll know exactly what’s in it, unlike some of the shop-bought ones. Jeanette Hyde, the author of the excellent The Gut Makeover, got me started on all this (along with Liz Earle) and talks about kefir thoroughly on jeanettehyde.com.

I bought my live grains from the Live Kefir Company. Happy Kombucha is very good too.  Both websites carry lots of information. With care the grains will last and last…. They will arrive with instructions.  All you need is a plastic sieve, full fat milk, (organic and preferably from grass-fed cows), and a large, sterile 1 litre kilner jar or an equivalent glass jug. When you get the grains, follow the instructions, basically leaving them to soak in the advised amount of milk where the grains eat up all the sugar in the milk and ferment it. This leaves you about 24hrs later, after having strained it,  with a slightly fizzy, slightly tangy yoghurt-type drink teeming with a huge, enormous variety of good bacteria. You can either drink it like that (you’ll get to crave it eventually!) or add it to your smoothie. My usual smoothie is made up of kefir, spinach, blueberries and half a banana – maybe with some flaxseeds (very good for perimenopausal and menopausal women) and pumpkin seeds. Then you start all over again with the strained grains in a fresh lot of milk. You can also get water kefir grains, which you can mix with coconut milk, or almond, rice etc, if you don’t want to use cow’s milk.

Happy kefir drinking and happy microbiomes for us all!! xxx

Things to be grateful for:

My eldest daughter being able to fix herself, after a super horrible bout of food poisoning, with kefir, bone broth and healthy food choices!

Our still beautiful hedgerows so I can make an autumnal garland, even with dried out and fading foliage. Not all things have to be fresh and young to be lovely!

Dog walking in the sunshine, alone or with friends.

Podcasts. My car radio is broken.

My emptying nest……

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For the last couple of weeks I’ve lain low, only really seeing my parents, making supper, dog walking, swimming training (of course!) and thinking. Lots of thinking. About life and stuff. Years ago an older friend of mine told me that life was really just an endless series of adjustments, and all we had to do was to accept that and just adjust, sometimes happily, sometimes not, sometimes halfway between the two. That has always stuck with me. We adjust. We all live at home with parents then have to make our own home. Student…to employed person. Single bed…to double.

I adjusted, very happily, when my son was born and I realised that for the foreseeable future we were glued together and even if I wanted to just nip out for a pint of milk, whatever the weather, he’d have to come too. More adjusting when the next baby came along. Routines were tweaked, play dates reorganised to allow for afternoon naps. More adjusting, again very happily, when we moved from London to the countryside. A couple more babies. School, then different schools. First son goes off to Malawi, then uni and the others follow suit. All very nice. All very typical.

Then two weeks ago, my third child went off to start her first job in London. Perfectly normal. But it made me so sad. I’m not heartbroken, it’s absolutely not a tragedy. There are plenty of much, much worse things out there. It’s just another adjustment – but it made me pause for thought. Very probably hormonally led!

Another friend once gave me a decoration to hang in a window. It said on the front “There are only two things we can hope to give our children. One is roots and the other is wings.” Have I done that? With all of them? So they know they are loved and can always, always come home but that they can also take off and have their own adventures, with confidence and happiness? I really hope so.

The conclusion to my musings about my emptying nest is that of course I can adjust to her leaving home and in the meantime I will plough on with setting myself up to try and live the next phase of my life vibrantly when they’re not all here, not least so there’s someone interesting for them to come home to, but more importantly, because life is short, it matters and it could be wonderful.

Next stop…swimming, wetsuitless, across Lulworth Cove in Dorset this weekend with my “swim buddy”. It will be cold, even super cold, but it will be fun and very beautiful. Maybe wonderful.

Things to be grateful for:

Sunny days in late September

Cold kombucha with raspberries

Magnesium Glycinate to help me sleep

And that London is not far away, and whilst it’s fun and exciting, it’s so exhausting. And I have my secret weapons…..her bed (so comfortable) and the adored spaniels! Ha!

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Two basket cases on the beach….

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This week has flown past, as weeks tend to do when the diary is not empty. On Monday, we had another training swim in the pool and managed 60 lengths this time! I was a little achier in the upper back area than before but we were pretty proud of ourselves! The pool was boiling hot though (why are indoor public pools always so hot? Hideous) and so we looked forward to getting on a beach and swimming in the fresh air later in the week.

On Thursday, I had a quick meeting with a wonderful charity I work with, which is so close to my heart, planning new things for autumn and new merchandise to sell at events and online (more in a later blog), and then I took my lovely mother clothes shopping. She has become so tiny that every now and again, we have a trip to downsize her wardrobe. This was not a wasted trip for me as I got quite a good workout pushing that old wheelchair all over the place, and my ever-generous mum rewarded me (which she absolutely didn’t need to do) with some highly-prized and award-winning Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish face wash – used for years and am a devoted fan – and a new jumper from Hush. Lucky me! It was great to get her out and about, cheer her up, change her scenery and give my dad the chance to have some time alone and go to the driving range.

Then yesterday….. “two basket cases on the beach”.

Up early. Swimming costume on under layers. Cup of strong coffee. Sun shining (thank goodness). I was picked up and off we set. Roof down, sunglasses on, hair blowing, looking cool (I’m sure?). I’m not sure what car it is but it enhanced our image and it’s navy. Tick.

An hour later we were there. West Wittering in Sussex – beautiful. Sun still shining. Good. Sand, not shingle. Even better. We collected our baskets from the boot and walked through to the beach. But so, so windy!! However, my friend and I are made of sterner stuff, so we changed and in we went. It was AWFUL!! So, so cold and very hard walking in bit by bit and letting the icy water creep up our previously warm bodies. Yuk. Look at the colour of the sea in the photo! However, once properly in it was lovely. Refreshing, exhilarating, wonderful. But very, very different to pool swimming. We were in for about 25 mins, which was good, but didn’t feel we got very far as the waves were high and all over the place. Sometimes it looked like we weren’t moving at all! At this stage, though, the aim was to experience the sea and the cold. Conditions change all the time and we just need to get on with it and get in the practice, and get stronger. Bring it on. I loved it!

Back on the beach, the real fun started. It’s been years since my childhood days of having to change in the cold, and the wind, on an English beach. My friend has a nifty poncho-type garment which keeps you warm, dries you and allows you to change underneath it quickly, calmly and with no fuss, which she did. I didn’t. I took maybe 6 times longer than she did. Got all tangled, untangled myself, got all tangled again and again, not really dry and also greatly amused the family who’d arrived behind us. I’m only glad my children weren’t there as they’d have laughed their heads off.

We then had hot drinks and healthy salads and drove home. All that fresh air and exercise had tired me out and I felt very sleepy all afternoon. Did I sleep well that night?? NO. This not-sleeping thing is driving me crazy and is so bad for me. As mentioned before, regular good quality sleep is essential for health – along with eating well, moving more and dealing with stress. They all are connected and when they are all being dealt with well, will help us live longer lives with better health. A very interesting podcast to listen to which goes into this thoroughly is Dr Rangan Chatterjee’s Feel Better, Live More where he interviews Matthew Walker who wrote the best selling Why We Sleep. I need to sort this. Soon. I’ve tried everything over the last few years. Apart from sleeping tablets and HRT…….

Off to do some yoga stretches and walk the dogs (10,000 steps!).

Things to be grateful for:

Hot chocolate on a windy beach.

My mother. And father, of course!

The ability to move and stretch.

Dry martinis! I love my kombucha but sometimes…..

Late Sunday afternoon musings…

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I’m sitting at the kitchen table writing this while a chicken is roasting in the oven, lemon stuffed inside, drizzled with olive oil, well-seasoned and sprinkled with tarragon. We’ll eat it with all the green veggies which need to be used up: broccoli, leeks and lightly sautéed courgettes. I’m then going to make bone broth with the carcass afterwards. I put it in a Crockpot and add an onion, red or white, a celery stick with the leaves, a carrot, a couple of cloves of garlic, the broccoli stalk, flat-leaf parsley, a splash of apple cider vinegar, seasoning, and then fill the pot with filtered water. On a low heat, it slowly simmers away at least until the morning, maybe even lunchtime. Certainly 10/12 hours – but it really doesn’t need to be precise. Drain through a sieve, sort through the sieve removing every single bit of bone, and then mash the veggies and last possible bits of chicken together and feed to your dog! My two spaniels think they’re in heaven when I serve them this. Cool the strained broth in a jug or bowl and then refrigerate. This precious liquid is amazing. It can alleviate joint pain and help maintain healthy bones, it is beneficial for gut health (helping to heal a leaky gut), it can boost the immune system and help with shiny hair and good skin. I just gently heat some up and drink it. You can keep in the fridge for up to five days. Yum.

Earlier last week, my lovely friend and I met at the local leisure centre for our first training swim together, hopefully leading to the open-water swim I mentioned before. I was so looking forward to it, not least as it would help to favourably increase my fitness/movement during the week – so good in so many ways, including helping with stress and sleep, two things I really need to pay attention to.

Well, bearing in mind my eldest daughter’s encouragement and instruction to not worry what I looked like in a swimming costume, that I looked fine and not old (and she was right, no one cared at all), I met up with my friend, we hugged and got in the water. And swam 50 lengths. In a full size pool!!! It was wonderful and I wasn’t even all that stiff the next day. Just a bit of water in my ears from doing backstroke, which just went away. So it just goes to show that sometimes we stop ourselves from doing things because we’re too busy, have self-doubt or a lack of confidence, or have lost our way a bit from when we were full of youthful invincibility. We just need to dig down to find our “power” and get it back. It’s so easy to lose the sense of who we actually, actually are. A daughter, wife and mother, yes – but our essential, capable selves too.

Next on the list this week, therefore, we’re planning another pool training swim and an early morning visit to the sea to experience the waves, the absence of anything to hold on to, and the cold – well, cold compared to an indoor pool, but warmer than it will be over the next few months!

Things to be grateful for:

Sunshine and the beautiful English countryside:

The ability to swim and swim for 50 lengths without suffering later and in the company of a very cool chick.

Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. Feel-good movies in great locations, making me laugh and cry. What’s not to like?

My oldest daughter’s boyfriend also loves my kombucha!!

That I’m still alive even though I haven’t done any ironing this weekend!

Well, here goes…

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First blog post EVER, which is a huge thing for me as I’ve never done anything like this before and am so new to all this technology. The best place to start, though, is at the beginning and now!

I want to write about all the things in my life which enrich it, and try to find better ways to deal with the stuff that drains me. As a woman “of a certain age”, I’m very aware that life can be wonderful, can also have many horrors, is passing so, so quickly, and that we only get the one opportunity to live it and make it matter.

So what have I done this week to begin my new challenge of making the most of my health, improve my mood, and have a good time?

I fermented!! I have been making my own kefir and kombucha for a while now – much to the dismay of most of my family. My only supporters so far are my eldest son and my younger daughter’s boyfriend, who happily (or kindly) sample both. Neither drinks are attractive to look at while they ferment away, I can see that, but they are super good for us. All the experts out there tell us that good gut health is vital and a healthy gut leads to better mood, clearer skin, less inflammation, and so on, and an unhealthy gut can lead to all sorts of trouble.

So over the last couple of days I have made new batches of kombucha, which is a fermented tea, sauerkraut, a fermented cabbage, and kimchi, a fermented vegetable Korean side dish. All will be teeming with good bacteria which should improve digestion and so improve me! There is literally so much written now about how eating fermented foods is good for us, I’d be here for months detailing it all. My two main health gurus when it comes to gut health are Liz Earle and Jeanette Hyde who write about it and sing its praises on social media. It’s much cheaper to make it than buy it in the shops.

I haven’t made any kefir this week as I’m resting my grains for a bit. The weather has been so warm, they were multiplying faster than I needed them to. Also, in this weather a chilled glass of kombucha, maybe with some lemon or raspberries adding to the flavour, is lovely and refreshing and could easily replace the rosé!

I’ll write on here soon about how to get started making these yourselves with the recipes I use, if people are interested?!

My kombucha, sauerkraut and kimchi:

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I also played tennis on Monday night with our lovely friends (great fun) and will be swimming lengths tomorrow night, starting to train for a big, big (open water!) swim – hopefully! So two good sessions, helping to improve my weekly moving/fitness. Dog walking can always fill in any gaps.

Things to be grateful for:

Friends, especially the ones who are always there, whatever.

Grace and Frankie (a wonderful newish sitcom on Netflix about female friendship – Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin at their absolute best! Might review it on here at some point).

Not having to cook supper tonight – what a treat – thanks to my youngest daughter!